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What happens if a mother not only is unable to recognize and fulfill her child's needs, but is herself in need of assuarance? Quite unconsciously, the mother then tries to assuage her own needs through her child.

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The reliability, continuity, and constancy that are so important for the child are therefore missing from this exploitative relationthip. What is missing above all is the framework within which the child could experience his feeling and emotions. Instead, he develops something the mother needs, and although this certainly saves his life ...

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Third Edition (English Edition) Alice Miller p.21 

 母親が症状を持っていた場合、子供を通して、無意識に自分の必要なものを手に入れようとする。そして、子供は自分の感情や感覚を経験するためのフレームを失う。

 

この症状は、こうして連鎖していくのだろう。むしろ、この連鎖こそ「親子の絆」なんて解釈された日には、目も当てられないことになる。

 

This child would remain without a mirror, and for the rest of his life would be seeking this mirror in vain.

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Third Edition (English Edition) Alice Miller p.27 

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